James D's thinkings

2002-12-13T11:49:00.000-08:00

James Holman
English 110 T&R 8:00-9:30
Writing Assignment # 4

What I learned. Well I think this is a little hard to explain because every time that I have ever learned something I may not of known it until later. I think the one of the most useful things that I have learned in this class hopefully might have to be learning how to make a website. I truly have only learned how to do this about a week ago. Before this I couldn’t even tell you a place to make them. I guess the main reason that I believe that this is the most useful thing that I have learned is because of some of my dreams. Yes it might never be brought up again but if I can do just a few of the things that I want maybe I could start making some money off of websites. Yes it sounds kind of weird but ever since I started designing my little website I learned the possibilities that it could give me and it honestly wasn’t that hard to learn, just a little exploring is all it took.
I have also learned more about myself by the way of web logs. I have done journals before so to say that I haven’t learned about myself in this way before would be a lie. The one way that I did learn was I would have never understood how I sounded had I been talking to an audience. This was the different thing that I never thought would incorporate with my journal. I learned how I sound and what I can do to improve. This has been a invaluable tool that I know that I could hopefully use in my futures web page. All in all I don’t know what things I’ve learned but I had a great experience in this class so I’m much more comfortable with my writing and being able to express myself. That is something that I know I will be using in the future. In other words this class has been priceless.

2002-11-26T21:48:00.000-08:00

James Holman
Eng 110 T&R 8:00-9:30
11/22/02

Who am I ????

So who am I? That is a very good question that I have never really been asked until now. I have been asked what I want to be and all those kind of questions but never, who I am. I honestly don’t really know who I am just because I am some one who believes that you change all the time so I don’t think you can clearly define who you are as a person. Some of the things that I do know is what I want and what I have learned and how they have affected me. There are so many things that people go through that either change the person or make them think in a way that they never have thought of and I am no different. I have had so many things affect my life in so many different ways that I couldn’t tell you them all in an entire lifetime.
There have been so many things in my life that I have never been able to explain and one of those things would have to be my thoughts. I have always been someone who thinks all the time and I have no idea why. One day for some unknown reason I started to write some of my thoughts on a sheet of paper. I have no idea why I started this. Maybe it was because of the many stresses that I have always let build-up or maybe it was me expressing my anger. No matter the case I started writing and just writing about whatever. Having no idea what it might be about, or what I would say. I had no idea what was going to become of this but none the less I kept on going. I believe it all started out just talking about what was on my mind. At the time it was usually girls. The most complex and confusing of which I have ever laid my eyes on. I guess through this journaling I was able to express myself in a way that allowed me to release my feelings of…. Well whatever. I had decided that I would try to journal for about the next year for about once to twice a week. No this was really that much and especially for so many people but it was for me. I never in my life thought I would be some on who wrote in a journal/diary. This was a lot for me and at first it was something that I tried to hide because to be honest with you I was ashamed of writing my thoughts. I thought that I was seriously one of a kind and totally weird. Especially a guy who is writes in a journal. One I was just sitting on my bed just writing about the day and what had gone on when my dad walked in. I was so shocked that someone had seen my journal and especially another guy. I was almost embarrassed that this had happened but none the less I found out that no one really cared all the much that I was writing so I decided to keep on doing it. It taught me so much. I often had so many thoughts running through my head that I couldn’t possible remember them all, but through writing I could go back and look through them at another time. I was able to learn what I was like when I was mad, sad, and well even drunk. I learned that I was a totally different person at times. It was almost comical to me how I had thought at times. This really helped me in my decisions to come.
One of those decisions that it really affected was my decision of my college choice. I had finally learned what I wanted in my life and that was to live for someone and they live for me. I couldn’t find a more wonderful thing that this dream. It was a dream that I never would worry about but had always wanted. I guess one day I had started to look over all of my past writings and I started to notice a pattern. The pattern was like this GIRLS, GIRLS, GIRLS. But I didn’t want just any girl I wanted one that was unlike all the others someone who really cared for me and for themselves. One day after another horrible night with girls I decided it was time to leave the girl situation and put it in gods hands and I started to pray about it. Not more than three weeks after that night I soon found Shauna Adler. The one I am still with today. We had not talked for nearly a half a year except for a few conversations here and there but we never really talked for quite a while. Well to make a long story short we were officially known as girlfriend/boyfriend to each other. After being with her for about seven months I knew that I didn’t want to go to college with out her. We had decided to make a dream of ours into a reality.
College soon came and what an impact it has been for me. I never could have imagined what it would have been like. I guess I always expected it to be hard and full of decisions but never like it turned out to be. I was truly out on my own. Well except for Shauna. I honestly don’t know what I would do or have done without her. She is everything that I have ever wanted to be and so much more.

I love her for not only who she is
But who I am when I am with her

She has taught me so many lessons in life and most of them by example. I wouldn’t know what I would be or would have been if it was not for her.
There is another thing in this paper’s questions that makes me really think and that is “What does it mean to be human?” Well I interpret in a few ways one of which makes me think of screwing up and just saying well I’m only human. I like so many people have screwed up in our lives and have come to regret some things. I can honestly say in my life that I have very few regrets. I have learned so much from other people. I guess I have some god given help that I can’t explain and that is some of the many feeling s that I get. I am one of those people who tends to have a feeling of whether or not something is going to be dangerous or fun or just a bad night. I at first never really noticed what this was all about until it started happening a little more frequently. Ever since I started actually listening and doing what these feelings said I actually have kept myself out of harms way and often just had a lot more fun by doing so.
Ok well who am I? No really? I am a person who is known to be nice and caring. A lot of people think of me as someone who doesn’t care about anything and that can be good and bad. When it comes to stressing out about many things… well your probably not going to see me there. I bet you are kind of thinking that this is a good thing right and it is for me. But the real deal is when people see that sometimes and think that you absolutely don’t give a damn. I have never really worried about anything because of my life’s motto.

All you can do is the best, at times you will be better than you are at another time
Never worry about what you didn’t accomplish,
Worry about what you did
People never remember your failures but your accomplishments

This is something that means so much to me and I honestly don’t even know if it makes any sense. I try never to sweat the small stuff because of all the stress that is involved. All through my life so far I have tried to share this little bit of advise with people. I hope that the person I am is a leader. Leadership to me is something that I hope I can teach in one of two ways by example (most important) and also by words of wisdom. To be a leader you have to be someone who is never scared to jump out on his own and also someone who doesn’t care to be made out as the fool.

For it is usually the foolish one that speaks
and the wise one that listens

I hope to be someone who is always willing to listens but also someone who is willing to stand up for his or her beliefs. I was just talking to someone about so many of the things that have gone on in our lives throughout all of time. Look at Galileo he was one of those who opposed the fact that the world was the center of the universe. So often in our lives people are thought of as fools because of something they say but then later on we find out what geniuses they were.
All in all I the person who probably knows myself best has no clue who I really am and that is why this paper may sound well kind of jumpy. One minute I think of myself as a college student, another moment I think of myself as a hunter and fisherman. The next I may think of myself as the boyfriend to my lovely girlfriend Shauna. NO matter the case I really don’t think I am going to be a person who stays the same to classify. I am constantly changing and yes maybe it will slow down but until then I guess I am kind of a mystery.

Suoiretsy so si efil
Mystery??

Well just look at this again in another angle or perspective and you can you can figure me out? Maybe try looking at it backwards and you can solve the mystery but chances are I change so much that you will never figure me out. Ha ha ha ha

2002-10-28T16:58:00.000-08:00

I love cigars and fishing! But it is way to cold to fish up here!

2002-10-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

yep

2002-10-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday I got two cigars and I tell you that I really wish that I had more because they taste so good. I cant stand it. I want to have a cuban more than anything. I have only had one cuban in my life but I have never had a better cigar in all my life and it was free. Well maybe I will get to smoke it soon because mmmmmmm its good.

2002-10-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

ok! I just told Shauna to leave and man do I feel like an asshole because I shouldn't of done that!

2002-10-11T18:50:00.000-07:00

2002-10-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

hi. haven't written here in a while. Just checking in!mHAHAAHAHAAAAAA

2002-09-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Well lets see 9/11 a date people will probably never forget and one that will be eched in stone for so many hearts. I was in school that day just as happy as could be not even knowing what just happened. I looked around at my classmates and at a teacher that I could truly call my friend and everyone looked as if there hearts were in terror. As soon as everyone told me of the news I started listening to the radio and my life along with everyone else's changed. I had just heard how easy life could be taken away and how much we take for granted. I went to my church that night where we prayed for so many of the people whose lives were torn apart by terrorists. I think ever since that day I have tried to never again think life is a gift it is just given to you. that is wrong we have to stand up for what is right and what we believe and voice our opinions. we must fight for our freedom and still a year later we are still fighting the ones who started this whole thing in the first place. It is truly very humbling how such a freedom that we have can be destroyed by the choices of others. I dont really know today how I would of been if that day wouldnt of happened but I am sorry that it did but I have seen the difference god has made in so many of us through such a bad thing. because let it be heard "let freedom ring and IN GOD WE TRUST"

2002-09-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

Well after the last few weeks here in college I am starting to wonder why I didnt try to move out of my house sooner. I knew I was ready and hey back then I had more money than I do now. I am so glad to be here. This place makes me feel at home. There are only a few things that I would want more from a place like this and that is to get more sleep and to find a good place to go fishing. I know that there are some good places to go in the area but I have no idea where a good place to start would be. I absolutly love fishing and it seems like there are very little people up here doing it. I dont really blame them because hell I dont even have that much time. Im afraid that i would make time when I probably shouldnt. Well as you can see I really dont have much to talk about. Hmmmmmmmmmm lets see I will talk about my girlfriend. She is the greatest thing to happen in my life. She has done so much for me. I honestly have turned my life around into a positive direction because of her. She truly the greatest friend that one could have. I have the best times with her and sometimes she doesnt think so but she is. I dont know what I would do without her in my life. My life would be totally different if I was not with her today. I was heading down a road full of temptation and trouble. I was very lucky that nothing ever really happened to me but I gave the world plenty of chances to get back at me. I will admit that I did have some good times but after a while I started to get so depressed and realized that I had the best thing in the world waiting for me and I just had to grab it. Luckily for me I did. I love that person to death I would not give up her for anything in my life. I am always reminded of on little saying when I think of her and that is something that I am very thanful for and it goes like this "I love you not only for who you are but also for who I am when I am with you." That saying there is just what I want to be about. I want to live my life for this special person and I am thankful that she lived her life for me as long as she has.

2002-09-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

I agree with Leslie weblogging has become much more popular in the last few years. One thing I wonder at times though is it true that weblogging has become more popular or are there just more people in the world thus making it look like there are more people weblogging. I know that I would not have even attempted to journal when I was youger because that was the last thing that was on my mind but now that I am older I like being able to write my ideas and later on going back to see what I was thinking or doing. I have learned alot about myself in this manner and I believe that this might be one of the reasons that it has become popular. It is in a way a psychiatrist for yourself and only you know what will be shared or given out.

2002-09-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

I guess I am here because I want to do something that I love and get paid fairly well for that. I never want to do a job that has horrible pay and is no fun. I chose to go onto college because I heard that is the last real time that you may be a kid but more importantly get ready for the life ahead. I dont want to be unprepared for the world to come. I feel that in the school system that you are taught to go to college and that, that is the only way to go. I feel that there are many ways to be successful. Besides who determines whether this person is successful or not. As long as you are happy I think you are fine. Having money may make some people happy but to others it might be too controling or maybe the family is the most important thing. I my mind they need to teach us how to find out what is going to make us happy instead of telling us what will make us happy. I dont think with our generation just having teacher/student relationship works as well anymore. Our generation in my mind does not like to be told what to do and if something is suggested to us like a friend than we are much more open minded and do not feel controlled. I absolutely hate to be controlled. I like to feel like I am running my life and no one in this world will get in my way. All through my life the best teachers for me were ones that I was friends with. I have had many teachers that have just thought of me a another student. I have even known some teachers as good friends but never once did I take their class, but those teachers have taught me far better lessons in life than any of the others. Every bit of knowledge that I learn in school or college may or may not be used but so much of the lessons about life and relationships I will use. The people that treat you like a friend are what makes them the greatest teacher of all because it isnt just common knowledge it is the life lessons that are learned.

2002-08-29T07:01:00.000-07:00

Hi my name is James Holman. Most people call me either JD. Stands for James David or they call me Jim. I have never had a preference in names. Currently I live in Reed hall here on campus but I came from my home town Longmont Colorado. For all of you that don't know where that is it is about 20 miles north of Denver.

Well now with regards to Rebecca Bloods and Melvin Levinson's opinions........ I would agree with them both that weblogging can be a good thing. It will open up our minds and the more and more that you write the better you will get. With writing there is only one direction that you may go and that is up. If we used this in our schools today we would get the best of two worlds. Our writing skills would be used and learned while using the technology of computers will give us a head start and a better understandin into our rapid, fast paced cyber world. Myself I love this technique of writing so much better and it will greatly benefit some people that the standard paper and pencil may not. For me getting my ideas out on the computer is so much easier because I can get all my gramatical errors and misspellings corrected all in the same place. It is much more friendly than having to get both the dictionary and the thesaurus out at the same time. Why not take advantage of something that everyother businessmen or secretary uses in the world? Why are we teaching the world how to paper and pencil when the majority of the time we use the computer anyway. sfdsfsfsafsafsafsafsfasdsfs